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9 ESRB ratings that don't exist, but should

October 10, 2008 in Blog comments 14

Slobs of Gaming goes through 9 new ESRB ratings that they would like to see, providing us with the logic behind the new ratings, as well as examples of previous games that would be re-rated with the new system.

I think that the addition of these new ratings would be a valued asset to the gaming community.

With some games, ESRB ratings can be either too damning, or not restrictive enough. How many parents buy their children copies of games like Halo 3 and Grand Theft Auto IV, regardless of the warnings on the box, pamphlets shoved into their hands by concerned Best Buy employees, or simple common sense? On the hand, there are plenty of other games that the ESRB just rates poorly. Mass Effect gets an M rating for fictional alien violence, but Call of Duty (which is based on actual military events) doesn't? What's wrong with this picture?

Fear not, for the Slobs of Gaming are ready with a solution (as always). If the ESRB wants to properly police video games in the future, we have a batch of NEW ratings that should be implemented immediately. These ESRB ratings don't exist yet... but they should.
Deathsythe via slobsofgaming.com »
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Most recently commented on by on Oct 14, 2008

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  • 0
    Ready Start L_Arc Oct 10, 08
    Japanophilia <3 hahaha. anyways, this article fails. Not funny if thats was it's aim. And if this is a serious article then *facepalm*
  • 2
    Gamesta100* Oct 10, 08
    How about Aus (not suitable for Australia)
    • 3
      Deathsythe Oct 10, 08
      I think those fall under the Stupid Parents category, but regardless - the point is all too true.


  • 1
    Shadow of Death Oct 10, 08
    What about "NG"?

    Non-gamers only? Basically, most of the Wii games XD

    Perhaps "TH"?

    "The HEll?!?!?!" As in, What the hell were they thinking when they made this game?!?!?!

    Perhaps "PA"

    For Pot and Acid users only XD

    Oh, and "E"

    Edutainment >_>
  • 0
    Livewire_19 Oct 10, 08
    Hilarious! This article is going into my favorite's for use at a later date.
  • 0
    Seproth Oct 10, 08
    meh, just ................meh
  • 2
    BANDITO ATTACK Oct 10, 08
    the overall idea of the article was good. it was executed poorly, tho. :\
  • 0
    Bale Fire* Oct 11, 08
    Could have been better, you seem to have the right idea tallteen. Maybe you should right your own list?
    • 0
      Shadow of Death Oct 11, 08
      Thanks dood

      I actually didn't think I had that good ideas XD
  • 0
    Miss Razz Oct 11, 08
    The story about the kid's parent buying him Gears of War made me sad
    • 0
      Shadow of Death Oct 11, 08
      Quick! Make a new Gamegrep article about it!

      But yeah, even with pamphlets shoved down their throats, some just don't 'get' the message >_>
  • 1
    Zaek Oct 11, 08
    Eh tallteen's rating amused me more than the article itself.
    • 0
      Shadow of Death Oct 11, 08
      Thanks dood XD

      Wow, seems people like the ones I came up with XD

      Course, you just said mine were more entertaining, that could mean the article's 'ratings' were just plain sucky to you >_>
  • 0
    Final Blade Oct 14, 08
    While I did like some of the stuff, the whole article fails. It wasn't funny and as BA stated poorly executed. A few comments about putting god of war on the stupid parents list, far from it. I think that should really be placed on the perverts considering it shows minor nudity in it, and far more orgasmic then DOA clothed boobs. >_>

    Also I like your list tallteen, not jumping on the bandwaggon here, its just because you made some interesting points...at least better then this article.

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