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Why Killzone 2 is way better than Halo 3!

March 02, 2009 in Blog comments 26

First thing's first, this article is satire, and is not meant to be taken seriously. If anyone comes in here starts complaining about this starting a flame war then it will just show what an idiot you are, so please feel free.

Anyway this humorous article makes the many points on why the PS3 exclusive Killzone 2 is better than the 360 exclusive Halo 3. It explains midget empowerment, claims Master Chief is a pedophile and oh so much more. So check out the source and grab some popcorn!

Sean Pertwee is in it:

Any game with Sean Pertwee in it is better than any game without. By this token, Primal is also far superior to Halo 3, as are the original Killzone and Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior. Every multiplayer game needs Sean Pertwee's rasping Englishness barking orders through a gas mask, and if you disagree then you are obviously a casual gamer, which is why you love Halo so much. Halo players are so stupid.
Sean Pertwee was in Event Horizon, which is the best film ever made about a space ship and starring a man who played Merlin. His appearance makes everything better. Better than Halo 3, at least.

You can throw blood packs:

I shouldn't really have to explain this one, but since you probably play Halo 3 and are therefore a moron, I suppose I'll lower myself to speaking like a grade school teacher. In Killzone 2's multiplayer, there's a class system, and you can choose to be a Medic. If you level up the Medic enough, you gain the ability to throw blood packs on the floor and walk over them to quickly regain health. This is fantastic.
Throwing blood packs on the floor and stamping on them to suck the blood up through your boots is more realistic than some magic white box with a red cross on it like inferior FPSes have. I in fact saw a man recover from getting shot in the stomach because doctors pushed blood up through the soles of his feet. He looked at me when they did it, which proves it happened.
Bale Fire via destructoid.com »
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Most recently commented on by on Mar 4, 2009

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  • 1
    DystopiaSticker Mar 3, 09
    That's just rude to call Krunal's honest, true writing satire.
  • 0
    Killosity Mar 3, 09
    The mention of Sean Pertwee already means this article resembles that of pure greatness.
    • 1
      Tenken Mar 4, 09
      Personally, it was a good thing the article explained who the hell that was since I never heard of him.
  • 1
    xegaldis Mar 3, 09
    that was a good read, thanks c:
  • 2
    Tiger of Wu Mar 3, 09
    That picture of Master Chief and the kid is going to haunt my dreams forever
  • 3
    YoshiStar Mar 3, 09
    Huh?? This man's reasoning is really biased. This was a really bad article. I mean, he said that Bungie said Master Chief was a pedo?? BUT THEY DIDN'T GIVE ANY PROOF!!

    How stupid this article is. As well as people who think I'm serious.
    • 0
      RabidChinaGirl Mar 4, 09
      Master Chief should sue for defamation of character.
  • 0
    PangTong_Blademaster Mar 3, 09
    The thing you guys are forgetting is that Killzone is actually better than Halo. It's a much more developed game, and the online is amazing, Halo was way too casual to get into.
    • 2
      Slumpy monkey Mar 3, 09
      Lmao.

      Who else knew PTB would happen to post on this article.

      You try too hard PTB, you really do.
    • 4
      Killosity Mar 3, 09
      quote PangTong_Blademaster
      The thing you guys are forgetting is that Killzone is actually better than Halo. It's a much more developed game, and the online is amazing, Halo was way too casual to get into.
      The one thing your forgetting is that everyone has an opinion and quite often you'll find they are not the same one. Halo > Killzone. Thats my opinion. Granted, I've only WATCHED about half the game when my friend was playing it so realistically, I have no right to comment. Dont throw your opinion across as fact.

      But I know you were only kidding. Noone can be as blissfully narrowminded as that.
      • 2
        Slumpy monkey Mar 3, 09
        Dude, this is PTB. Unless you haven't been around GG for the past 6 months then you will know his posts are for entertainment purposes only. He's like the replacement for Final blade(I miss that guy). PTB doesnt care about other peoples opinions, because anyone who disagrees with him are 360 fanboys or anyone who likes a 360 game is just lying because they don't have a ps3.

        I mean come on, Only a real idiot would come in to a satirical article and then somehow try and prove the article right(even though its a joke). I bet he sat there reading it and was like "HA, I KNEW IT ALL ALONG, WAIT TILL MA BUDDIES HERE ABOUT THIS ONE!"
        • 3
          Absolute Mar 3, 09
          I knew it was bound to happen.

          Look, if you enjoy KZ2 more than Halo, then great. But don't bash a game that over EIGHT MILLION PEOPLE have purchased. Halo is definitely in my top 5 games list, will KZ2 be better? I don't know, I haven't had a chance to play it yet.

          Just stop making an ass out of yourself. Video games are all opinion, not fact.
        • 1
          chautemoc Mar 3, 09
          I, for one, dont miss FB...
        • 1
          Slumpy monkey Mar 3, 09
          He was fun to debate with. Provided a few good lols. But PTB is just annoying to talk with, as if its a brick wall with "*bleep* you, sony>you" on it . Still provides teh lulz though.
        • 2
          FinalFantasyFanaticc Mar 3, 09
          Wondered what happened to FB, has he just left then?

          His long ass BS comments were fun to read and comment against

          PTB doesn't provide as much lulz as FB =[

          Article was a funny as hell read though.
        • 0
          Sayyed Mar 3, 09
          Huh? When did finalblade get banned?!
  • 0
    Blaze Mar 3, 09
    It doesn't take much to beat Halo really. :/
    • 2
      FinalFantasyFanaticc Mar 3, 09
      Seriously, what the hell is with all the Halo boycotting?

      Your just proving your a idiot.
    • 0
      Gutter_Tech Mar 4, 09
      call of duty kicked the crap out of it.....
  • 1
    Killosity Mar 3, 09
    Ill never forget the article about save points on Heavy Rain. Everyone was onto Final Blade for his comments. Seriously, search it. Print it out. And read it whilst taking a shit.

    It was pure entertainment. Final Blade was enjoyable to debate with. He did make valid points. Mistakes were made. But he never said he was an intellect.
    • 2
      FinalFantasyFanaticc Mar 3, 09
      Whilst i never actually commented in the article, i felt no need to, i just wanted to sit back, relax and watch all the awesomeness of commments handed out like bitch slaps to FB xD

      Seems all he does nowadays is rate articles =[
  • 1
    phowell23 Mar 3, 09
    Am I the only one who got the impression that he was dissing killzone 2 and ps3 fanboys?
    • 1
      Tiger of Wu Mar 3, 09
      I think the fact that it was mocking fanboys is fairly obvious, though from the little I read I didn't see anything dissing KZ2 (I couldn't be bothered to read the whole thing; 'twas too long for simple satire(obviously that doesn't mean there wasn't any though))
    • 0
      Sayyed Mar 3, 09
      It was funny, but I missed the true purpose of the article. I haven't figured out the authors true entitions with it.
    • 2
      Woudo Mar 4, 09
      The writer was indeed mocking SonyFriends and to a lesser extent, Killzone2. Pointing out small and relatively unnoticeable details, like regenerating health through stomping bloodpacks and 32-player voice chat, then justifying them in an over-the-top manner was (probably) intended to mock the extent at which PS3 fanboys will go to defend their game or console. Things like, "I saw a medic heal a soldier by pumping blood through his foot, and he looked at me, which means it must be real".

      The same can be said for all consoles and fanboys.
  • 0
    ssj5_vegeta Mar 3, 09
    1) Because it's Killzone.

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