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Jack Thompson... Retires?! [April Fool's 08]

Avalith | March 31, 2008 | Exclusive | Misc 
In a press release just released via e-mail that I happened to receive after having some less than pleasant conversations with the controversial attorney shortly after he blamed the NIU shooting on video games, Jack Thompson has stated that instead of waiting for a decision from Judge Dava Tunis about his ability to practice law in Florida, he will instead take the opportunity to end his career "on a high note."

Nice one, Jack... But what "high note" were you talking about? Killing a fax machine? Proving the Florida Bar right about your lack of professional conduct? Being sanctioned by the Florida Supreme Court? Please, enlighten us.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

After increasing threats to me from gamers claiming that my impending victory over the Florida Bar will result in my disbarment and long discussions with my family over private matters, I have chosen to take this time to officially retire from being a civil rights attorney and end my career on a high note.

I'm fed up with people only reporting one side of the story through various media outlets such as the Internet and nobody seems to take me seriously outside of court. I have done everything I can to prove to you all that these murder simulators people call [violent] video games are harmful to kids and the nation as a whole and should be banned, but only a handful of people have heeded my warnings. It's a shame, really, you'll all be wishing you'd listened to me sooner when I'm proven right.

I may be retiring, but I am in no way defeated.

Regards,

Jack Thompson
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  • 1 thumbs!
    Xenctuary | April 01, 2008
    Finally he can go home and play some Grand Theft Auto in peace.
  • 1 thumbs!
    Fusion | April 01, 2008
    Yay!

    I'm glad, this dumbass is finally getting out of our way. Nice find.

    However, we all know he loves playing GTA in private.
  • 1 thumbs!
    MusiKon | April 01, 2008
    I seriously want this one to be real, but I doubt it since it's April Fools Day.
  • 2 thumbs!
    jmac353 | April 01, 2008
    You guys are fools for not only thumbing down my comment "below viewing threshold" but for believing this!

    For the record I said "someone needs to stop accepting this shit to gamegrep.....lk;adjsf;laksjdf;" The latter part being my clear frustration for the fact that we're accepting all of this clearly April Fools based "news."

    It's just stupid. Stop it. It's what forums are for, GameGrep is for actual news. I love April Fools, because I get to watch a ton of people get fooled very badly on the internet, but I like to watch my respected news collection sites stay out of it. It's one thing have GameGrep themselves pull an april fools joke, but just to pool a whole bunch of April Fools jokes from different sites is lame.
    • 0 thumbs!
      Storm | April 01, 2008
      Way to kill a joyous day, jmac. -_- Actual news? I'm sorry, but even newspapers and magazines have their 'April Fools' articles. You need to lighten up.
      • 2 thumbs!
        jmac353 | April 01, 2008
        I know I just edited this into my post after you replied but I'm okay with the publications themselves pulling an april fools joke, just like if the admins at gamegrep would have done it. But it's lame as hell to just have every little kid submitting april fools jokes from other websites to here. You know what i'm saying?
        • 3 thumbs!
          Storm | April 01, 2008
          Yeah I see your point now. Too much of something isn't a good thing, after all. A few articles on it is fine, but it does seem like a bit much with other articles from members.
  • 0 thumbs!
    Incidnia | April 01, 2008
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! Oh wait.
  • 0 thumbs!
    The Power | April 01, 2008
    I am in 2 minds as to wether this is real, or just another April Fools joke. To be honest I don't mind either way.
  • 0 thumbs!
    StarJet | April 02, 2008
    Damn. How much could one wish for? I believe this is a very effective April fools joke, seeing that this is something many of us want happening.
    • 0 thumbs!
      Avalith | April 02, 2008
      I highly doubt it'll ever happen; he'd be disbarred first.

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