"If we’re not jumping through hoops trying to save a kingdom, we’re fetching some rare Crystal Sword of Infinite Necromancy all out of the kindness of our hearts. What do we get in return? “Ah, gee thanks for risking life and limb to do a big ol’ fancypants favor for me and restoring our world to what it once was from the Dark Ruler of Naught. Here’s a medal, young adventurer. Never mind our bustling cleavage. Now get the hell out, street rat. Sorry ‘bout the hard-on.”

Whaaaaaa? Faster than..."