When I was delivered, I cleared my nostrils and spanked my own ass. Later that day, I invented a silicone based protein that cured world hunger and brought about world peace. I owned a multi billion dollar corporation by the time I was six, and you can too!

I won the Nashville chili cook off, home on the prairie mother *bleep*er. I circumcised myself with my bare hands. Grizzly Adams mother bitches.

I don’t need an elevator, ill take the stairs. I wrestle alligators, I ain’t no square. I don’t need toilet paper, Ill use my hands… and wipe ‘em on your face, cause I’m the man.

I once slapped a guy so hard his mom lit on fire.. and that bitch lives in Alaska. You figure it out. So you see my little bitches, if you buy my one minute and 48 second seminar, you too could become the champion of the world.

I’m joking, you’re a loser. When I take off my shirt, even old ladies flock to me. I’m like Don Johnson you *bleep*s.