205
rate

Tetris lessons at affordable prices

April 17, 2009 in News comments 15

For those who yearn to compete with the top-tier Tetris troupers and happen to live in the Vancouver, BC region, your time is now.

Full ad is at the source.

In response to the economic downturn, I am offering personal Tetris training sessions on a limited, first-come first-serve basis. I am a patient and non-judgmental coach.

Frequently Asked Question:

Q: Why should I pay you to train me to play Tetris?

A: Tetris is the Greatest Video Game of All Time (Electronic Gaming Monthly, 2007), and studies have demonstrated the beneficial effect that extended sessions of playing Tetris have on things such as hand-eye-coordination, reducing PTSD, simple problem solving skills and Tetris playing ability. Tetris is an inexpensive pastime that requires minimal equipment and carries little to no risk of physical injury.

Tetris is easy to learn but hard to master. You will receive personal Tetris coaching from someone who has played numerous variations of Tetris on a number of different platforms and consoles, in the relative comfort of his own home.
chautemoc via vancouver.en.craigslist.ca »
Favourite this article Add source
| More
Report!
News story attached to:
Latest comment:
Most recently commented on by on Apr 21, 2009

Comments

Register as a member to subscribe comments.
  • 0
    Play ISDF Apr 18, 09
    Hey maybe I should start giving out lessons of my own. I've got enough games, pick one! /sarcasm

    Oh please this is stupid... there will probably be SOMEONE stupid enough to go for this, but damn! That's just sad.
  • 4
    Slumpy monkey Apr 18, 09
    Yeah I wonder what this will be like.

    "OH SHIT ITS THE WEIRD ONE! QUCIK MOVE IT 2 STEPS TO THE LEFT! NOW RIGHT! FFS MAN HURRY, ONE TO THE LEFT, QUICK RIGHT RIGHT RIIIGHT!! OFFS U PUT IT IN THE WRONG PLACE, MIGHT ASWELL RESTART NOW.!"
    • 0
      Play ISDF Apr 18, 09
      You messed up, quote the crazy coach "I am a patient and non-judgmental coach".

      You forgot to add in the rum he would have over the course of a few hours while he trying to teach an old grandfather how to actually start tetris on his phone.
  • 0
    Flippy Apr 18, 09
    Tetris? with all the hard games out there TETRIS has lessons?

    ...Someone needs to go to the nut house.
  • 0
    Storm* Apr 18, 09
    Tetris is great, never seem to get bored of it. Still...lessons are a bit overboard. It's all about playing and practicing, eventually you'll learn about it more and get better.
  • 0
    Insanity Prevails* Apr 18, 09
    To be honest I think this is a piss-take. Just look at the intermediate lesson plan.

    quote
    • This training program is slightly longer in duration, and incorporates all of the modules covered in Tetris Fundamentals but also includes beer, wine or liquor. You will challenge yourself by applying the skills you’ve learned while growing increasingly intoxicated and playing against someone who is similarly drunk
    • There may be a short primer on computational geometry and algorithmic complexity theory, unless we run out of time
  • 0
    yugiRULER Apr 18, 09
    What the hell? He plans on getting everyone drunk, AND THEN giving them a game? That guys messed up.
    • 0
      redneonfish Apr 18, 09
      It's not that messed up. I'd prefer Tetris to rohypnol.
    • 0
      Chais Apr 19, 09
      It's not that farfetched, really. When intoxicated, many people's decision making skills and coordination go out the window. If one can perform well at Tetris while intoxicated for an extended period of time, it certainly is an accomplishment. Not only that, but think of what they'd be capable of while sober. I have a feeling this is most likely a farce, but the liquor part does make sense when you stop and think about it. Tetris requires a good bit of thought, especially once things start piling up.
  • 0
    anacreon Apr 18, 09
    maybe being drunk makes people better at tetris xD
  • 0
    BANDITO ATTACK Apr 18, 09
    congratulations! you are the MOON MASTER!
  • 0
    DarkSpyro_Dragon Apr 19, 09
    I bet this is a joke from some guy either looking for attention or just being an idiot
    • 2
      Big A2 Apr 19, 09
      Or he's trying to be funny?

      You know, the thing that makes you laugh?
  • 0
    King X2 Apr 19, 09
    Oh yes, this is the news I have been waiting for. I am tired of just being average at Tetris. I want to be a Tetris master!

    What really is there to teach? I can't really think of anything except speed.
    • 0
      HisServant77 Apr 21, 09
      Really I can think of a few non-traditional things to teach to people that would help them with tetris. It involves training your mind to view the shapes in a different way so that you really don't have to focus on the shapes anymore. You begin playing with your subconscious, which is useful when the blocks fall so fast you can barely see

      EDITED TO ADD:
      This . . . coming from someone who is so terrible at Tetris that he can't get past the 2nd level, and often gets bored after 30 seconds of the game

This news story is archived and is closed to comments now.