The Internet’s hair was lit on fire this week and in between running around the kitchen screaming and waiting for the faucet to fill up with the cool water of logic a bunch of hair got torched. Have you ever smelled burnt hair? We’re not recommending you go out and try and A) burn your own hair or B) burn someone else’s hair, but just take our word for it – the smell of burnt hair is the smell of a thousand failures being vomited from the gullet of a tentacled creature hiding in a wet hole. It’s gross.

We didn’t start the fire, but a series of reports that spread from an unfortunate leak of an upcoming issue of U.S. enthusiast magazine Electronic Gaming Monthly spiraled out of control and suddenly reports on the Internet included salacious headlines like “Halo 3 Co-Op Heads Offline” and heads needed to be dipped in ice water in order to prevail.