Yes, just when you thought you were the ultimate Halo geek, just when you thought there was nothing else that Bungie could whore its first-person behemoth onto, up prances Germany’s favourite three-striped sporting brand with a truly, truly hideous addition to the growing catalogue of Halo merchandise disasters.

A picture is worth a thousand words and, in this case, if we were pushed to submit a thousand-word news article then the vast majority of them would begin with ‘f’ and end with ‘ucking ugly.’