You know the formula. A pure-hearted beauty falls into the evil grasp of some snarling, spitting, mustache-twirling megalomaniac. A noble hero, driven by honor, courage and - let's face it - hormones, rushes to her aid. A brief kiss ensues and, before you can say sequel, the hapless lady has stumbled into imminent danger all over again. Tale as old as time... classic "damsel in distress."

Except sometimes, the damsel isn't worth the damn trouble. Sometimes you reach the end of your adventure, take one look at your reward and wonder why you went searching for her in the first place. Sometimes you're sick of her before you've even begun.

The following are those times. Take our advice, potential knights in shining armor. Don't bother.