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5 Common Things In Games That Make No Sense

December 26, 2008 in Top List comments 32

There are some elements in almost all modern games that just don't make any sense. Most are done for practical reasons, like hiding up things that couldn't be created due to not having an unlimited budget. Some are in place as a way of making gameplay more practical. Some are just stupid.

No One Ever Needs To Eat/Rest/Break In The John

This applies to pretty much every game ever except for The Sims, which is a terrible game. I was playing Prince of Persia a few nights ago when I realized that my character had been running, jumping, sliding, and in general hopping about like a *bleep* orangutan for several hours without so much as stopping to take a breather. At no point during the game did I see him stop to eat anything or relieve himself on an unsuspecting bush, either.
RKRigney via slapstic.com »
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Most recently commented on by on Dec 30, 2008

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  • 3
    Shadow of Death* Dec 27, 08
    Meh, these are all cliches everyone notices. We all think it is dumb, but mostly practical.

    But yeah, I do find myself thinking on the Door thing....WTF? I can blast a huge monster into oblivion, but I can't get on the other side of a door?

    However, the article was pretty funny about the healing part. Predictable sort of sarcastic comments, but still funny XD
    • 0
      HisServant77 Dec 27, 08
      Would be nice if for the door thing. Devs started making it so that you die if you enter the door. They have to make it so that it's a scary, terrible death that makes you NOT want to even try that door!

      Betcha it would help sell more of their games if they got innovative like that.
  • 4
    Koloth Dec 27, 08
    The only one that is even remotely right is the door one. The rest of them are called game mechanics.

    If you couldn't heal, respawn, or keep playing without the character needing a break games would become monotonous and annoying. These things make PERFECT sense because doing them any other way would be idiotic in a gaming environment.

    As for the bosses well that just makes them more interesting. If every boss died on their first form every time games would again become boring and predictable. Unless you read a guide you can never be sure going into a boss fight when it will end. I know many times I have gone into fights getting close to killing the boss and getting excited only to find it changes form and gets more powerful. Sometimes this can be a bit of a kick in the teeth if you're not prepared for it. But then you have to go back rethink your strategy and try again.

    As usual, I don't find this article amusing at all. You fail to make light of really obvious game play mechanics that everyone has already thought about and realised that you have to do it that way. In other words they make sense unless you're confused about reality vs fantasy.
    • 1
      RKRigney Dec 27, 08
      If this article had been intended as an in depth analysis of game design mechanics, your argument would probably matter.

      Too bad.
      • 5
        Koloth Dec 27, 08
        If the artcle had been funny you might have a point.

        Too bad.
        • 1
          RKRigney Dec 28, 08
          Tell it to the 212 rating.
        • 1
          Final Blade Dec 28, 08
          Rigney you get ratings for just about anything, it's not all about clicking rate. I don't have the full list of how articles gain points, but it means nothing.
        • 3
          Slumpy monkey Dec 28, 08
          Now that I think about it your article is funny.

          But not because of the article its self. Its because of the stupidity of the author trying to fill up space on his website, You couldn't think of anything better so you churned out another "TOP XXX IN GAMES" article.

          The article has been proven to be crap, and now you try and defend it thinking your awesome because the rating is 212(which is nothing to be proud of, its low tbh).

          You run a rubbish little gaming site with no credibility and your only source of readers is Gamer grep and your own word of mouth. Get over your self mate.
        • 4
          Koloth Dec 28, 08
          You know Rigney, I might have been more impressed with your article if it had been an indepth analysis of game mechanics rather than a poorly constructed attempt at humor.

          You're just not funny man. And 212 isn't that great a rating even on this site. When you write something interesting let us know.
  • 0
    Storm Dec 27, 08
    Huh, obviously they haven't played No More Heroes or Duke Nukem.
    • 1
      RKRigney Dec 27, 08
      In No More Heroes you simulate masturbation to recharge your lightsaber. Lets not pretend that that makes sense ;D
  • 0
    StarJet Dec 27, 08
    Except being unable to blast through these "god-mode" doors, other things listed here are pretty much unavoidable, as they're done for the sake of gaming. Of course, GTA SA tried to change this...
  • 1
    Onvacation Dec 27, 08
    No Double Jumping? Failed
    • 1
      Shadow of Death* Dec 27, 08
      Lol yeah, that just goes against the laws of physics and common sense XD

      Course, the 'game mechanics' thing props up. Double jumping is very practical in a lot of games. And it is FUN (in most games anyhow).
  • 3
    chautemoc Dec 27, 08
    The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés. <--Related.
  • 1
    HisServant77 Dec 27, 08
    Aw come on, those things make perfect sense! You guys telling me you can't do those things in real life?

    Sheesh, y'all need to work out more!

    And hey, double jumping is awesomely useful in getting on top of my roof. But it's tricky as can be. You gots to believe the air is solid, and thereby can be walked/jumped/swam in!
  • 0
    Lucas0 Dec 27, 08
    I agree with the door one, it should be there for a reason.

    I also agree with the bullet damage. You shouldn't be able to regain health but its a game so the developers make it how they like
  • 0
    Jesh Dec 27, 08
    Yeah, damn doors that don't do anything piss me off.
  • 0
    Sayyed Dec 27, 08
    Im suprised you didn't mention crates. what the hell are they there for? Thank you crash.
  • 0
    black doom Dec 27, 08
    Pretty poor but the every end part isolated seems kind of funny. 'I'll take some of those biscuits. '
  • 4
    Final Blade Dec 27, 08
    What the hell does the attached Photo have to do with the article again?

    Anyway this isn't funny in the least. Games aren't realistic, games can have more believable stuff within them, but not realistic. Gaming is about taking yourself away from reality to play things to excite us. Books are similar.
    • 1
      McClubbin Dec 28, 08
      Final Blade, you deserve a THUMBS UP. Not only was your comment grammatically correct and coherent, but you also have a valid point.

      Yeah, I don't get the picture either other than the fact that he mentioned an orangutan in his first point.
  • 1
    Killosity Dec 27, 08
    Another good read from Slapstic.

    Although Im sad not to see my personal favourite; enemies coming out and attacking AFTER you hop on the massive powerful turret or cannon..
    • 0
      Final Blade Dec 28, 08
      Well I don't think that's bad. It just goes to show you, they're not going to give you free access or advantage going onto the cannon or turret.
  • 0
    Miss Razz Dec 28, 08
    The door thing is something that annoys me to no end... Though un-openable doors don't bug me as much as doors that only open once you've completed a tedious seemingly-irrelevant puzzle.

    If there are going to be endless locked/un-openable doors in a game, then at least try to make up a legitimate reason as to why I can't blast them open (e.g. Silent Hill).
  • 0
    DragoniteBallZ Dec 29, 08
    It makes sense to point out the common VG cliche but that list fails at proving any of those it makes no sense to have in games. The only one that may or may not make sense on that list is the Multiple Boss Forms/Encounters. The others - really if you can't figure out even any simple reason why it makes sense those are common characteristics in games, then you are a moron. Yeah they may be annoying, lame, or unrealistic, but in a game, they make perfect sense.
    • 1
      HisServant77 Dec 29, 08
      I think the point of the article was not to point out things that made no sense to be in games, but rather things that are in games, that make NO sense realistically. I mean, we all know why the door is there, why the boss is there, why the characters don't rest. But realistically, they make absolutely no sense whatsoever!
      • 3
        Koloth Dec 29, 08
        But we all know that games, movies, and books aren't reality so these things make perfect sense. Which is why the artcle is neither interesting or funny.
      • 0
        DragoniteBallZ Dec 29, 08
        Video games aren't supposed to be reality. If so then video games altogether don't make sense because it doesn't make sense to play video games if I wanted to play reality.
      • 0
        Final Blade Dec 29, 08
        As I pointed out, Games are like interactive books or movies. They're NOT supposed to be realistic or believable. If games had this, people wouldn't play them cause what makes games fun is the unrealistic qualities. While GTA4 has more believable stuff then the previous, it's still unrealistic and fun which is why people play them. People play games to escape reality and the stress we go through in our daily lives, I don't want to play a game where I have to stop and go to a virtual rest room to shit or piss. It ruins the whole flow games are supposed to have.
        • 0
          HisServant77 Dec 30, 08
          Directed to everyone:
          Well I personally already know all that. I'm just saying that I believe the article was talking of things that made no realistic sense, and not things that made no game-related sense.
        • 1
          Koloth Dec 30, 08
          That's the problem though HisServant. Slapstic's articles are supposed to be humorous. So I think we all understand where he is coming from. It just isn't funny because these things do make sense from both a practical realistic stand point and a game mechanics stand point. It just fails to do what it set out to do.

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