Poor Peach. She must have one of the crappiest lives of any video game character. But is she even worth rescuing?
Go to the source for Gamespy.com's 5 Reasons Princess Peach Is The Worst Woman In Videogames...

To hell with it. I'm not going to the next castle.

After watching a balls-to-the-wall, action-packed episode of the "Ultimate Fighting Championship," writer/activist Andrea Dworkin once said, "Sexism is the foundation on which all tyranny is built. Every social form of hierarchy and abuse is modeled on male-over-female domination."

But if you read that to Princess Peach, she would simply giggle and wave a parasol at you while asking if you had seen her other pink outfit. You know, the super-short skirt she wears while shooting hearts out of her wrists playing tennis. Or maybe she'd ask if you wanted a piece of the cake she had baked for her man of 25 years who never gets closer than a sterile kiss on the cheek.

Princess Peach is the worst woman in videogames.

A head of state whose biggest decision in life has been "let men handle things," Peach is a woman of immense potential power who refuses to use any of it.

Obviously, she's worse than strong female characters such as Beyond Good & Evil's Jade or Metroid's Samus Aran. But she's also worse than sold-for-sex caricatures like Lara Croft, Mai Shiranui, or any woman ever touched by Tecmo (oh god, Samus, no!).

Neither a feminist nor sexy, Princess Peach falls into that category of creepy 47-year-old aunt who loves pink and spends all her time waiting for the guy in the Nora Roberts novel to sweep her off her kankles.

We've got a lot of terrible to cover, so let's get started.
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  • 0
    Audioslave Jul 28, 09
    Lol it's funny because it's true!
  • 1
    RabidChinaGirl Jul 28, 09
    quote
    ...or any woman ever touched by Tecmo (oh god, Samus, no!).
    Indeed. XD
  • 0
    Reenee Jul 28, 09
    Why would you bash one of the best hentai fodders?
  • 5
    Seeker X Jul 28, 09
    Yes, we really needed a list to confirm it.

    quote
    Why would you bash one of the best hentai fodders?
    Meh, I've seen better.
    • 4
      Reenee Jul 28, 09
      You take that shit back. You have no taste.
  • 2
    chautemoc Jul 29, 09
    I'm reminded of this:

    "We need a new Mario game, where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest of the game you try and push down that sick feeling in your stomach that she's "damaged goods", a concept detailed again and again in the profoundly sex negative instruction booklet, and when Luigi makes a crack about her and Bowser, you break his nose and immediately regret it. When Peach asks you, in the quiet of her mushroom castle bedroom "do you still love me?" you pretend to be asleep. You press the A button rhythmically, to control your breath, keep it even."
  • 0
    SSJ3 Trunks Jul 29, 09
    Maybe they should mix it up a bit..
    Here a few ideas:
    Bosses actually worth the 20 levels to get too?
    Luigi is more involved?
    New plot?
    Just some thoughts.
  • 0
    Gamesta100 Jul 29, 09
    Damn that was a good article.
  • 0
    Flippy Jul 29, 09
    Couldn't find a single flaw in that article.

    She thinks she's Dolores Umbridge or something?
  • 0
    MikeyGrea Aug 23, 09
    Nice artice. Enjoyed reading through it.

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